Carwash.

Day 3

I'm at the carwash. The one by the QuikTrip. I think I'll make a habit of coming after I get off work, before heading home.  A quick freshen up... and a small chance you'll be here. No matter how small the chance, it's hope. 

No signs of life from you, has my mind spinning... 

I re-read your email again, I agree with the fact that it came via email was strange. But the thing that stuck out to me today is that you said "Since there was no actual discussion on the ride home..." that communication is final. And while my initial reaction was that you were just saying "since I didn't voice this before, I'm making it very obvious now." It was a response that could have been you saying it because Josh sent something similar to his affair... like an expectation. 

But then something hit me... you also could have worded it that way because you are mad that our ride home was mostly silent. Should I have made more of an effort to comfort you? I wish I had in that moment. But I was in shock. So if you feel betrayed by my silence... baby, I am so sorry. 

I just figured we had discussed this possibility and what the aftermath would look like, and I went into straight survival mode. 

If you're mad, please forgive me. I don't know what to do right now. I'm so lost,

And if you're not mad... please give me a sign of life. Please.